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Our Birth Story: Dealing with Disappointment

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Welcome to the world little guy! Baby D has been in my arms for 11 weeks, I can hardly believe it. Enough time has passed that I can look back at our path and see that even though his arrival was no where what I had planned it’s okay. I know that I can not be the only mom out there that doesn’t have the birth story she anticipated so I thought I would share ours.birth story

You hear most people say that first babies come late, I knew pretty early on that my little guy would be here early or right on time. It never crossed my mind that he would take his time making his appearance. My due date was on Saturday May 31st and on Tuesday the 27th I went in for my weekly appointment. I thought it might be the day so before leaving the house I had packed my hospital bag in the car just in case. The Mister had been called into work the night before and was getting ready to get off work as I headed to my appointment. Sure enough I was ready to go and I headed over to the hospital.

My plan all along had been to have a natural delivery. I wanted to avoid an epidural, no pitocin, I wanted to breastfeed right away, I wanted time with my husband and son to bond as a new family unit.

My labor started at 9:30 on Tuesday morning and progressed all day. in the early hours of Wednesday morning I reached a stalling point. I was swelling and unable to progress from a 9 to a 10 to be fully dilated. I was stressed and tired. My parents had arrived earlier that day and friends were with us as support too. At 3 am on Wednesday I decided that I needed a break and agreed to an epidural. The Mister and I were able to rest for an entire hour. When we woke up it was time to start pushing. I pushed for 2 hours, yes 2 hours before my dr decided it was time for a little pitocin. Once the Pitocin was started I pushed for 2 more hours. I was exhausted, The Mister had been awake for almost 60 hours straight. When our Dr suggested we use the vacuum and get our little guy out in “3 more pushes,” I looked to my husband for the okay. He told me it was my choice, he supported my decision.

We agreed to the vacuum. Our first attempt failed and the vacuum came off. On the second attempt the vacuum lost suction and came off. This time our little guy moved back up the birth canal. Our Dr looked at us and told us that this was my body saying it was time for a c-section. This was the worse thing I could have imagined. I was destroyed and started crying. I had tried so hard. I had endured 26 hours of labor, 4 hours of pushing. We attended birthing classes, I read all of books. Why was this happening?

In the end our little guy made his debut on Wednesday May 28th 2014 at 11:26 am via ย c-section. I remember my husband showing him to me and then I began having pain while being sutured close. The next thing I remember I was being placed under general anesthesia. I awoke a few hours later, groggy and shaking.

birth story john

We had issues with breastfeeding from the beginning and had to seek help from a lactation consultant after going home. Today we are doing great, breast feeding like a champ.

Our birth story is not what we planned for or even something I could have anticipated. Baby D is healthy and happy, what more could a momma ask for. I’ve gotten over the disappointment of things not going my way, the feeling of failure. I know that I can’t be the only woman out there to feel to have this experience.

Is your birth story unique, did things go as planned or in another direction all together?

Filed Under: Parenting

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Comments

  1. PerfectlyJenn says

    August 13, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    I didn’t really go in with a plan other than us both coming out healthy and safe. I started leaking fluid the day after my due date but my water wasn’t broken so they went ahead and admitted me to the hospital for observation. The next morning they started pitocin and I went as long as I could before needing an epidural but after being in labor all day my body wasn’t getting past 2cm dilated and my baby girl was being effected by it all through her heart rate so my doctor helped us with the decision to do a csection. It wasn’t what I imagined our labor to be like but in the end we were both okay and that’s all I could have hoped for

    I’m happy you guys are doing so well now and that breast feeding is going well. I can’t wait to meet him!

  2. Bonnie says

    August 13, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    I am so sorry that things didn’t go the way that you hoped. Birth is such a huge event and it can be hard to deal with the emotions surrounding everything. You are a GREAT Mom no matter what happened!!

  3. aleshea dominique says

    August 13, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    You said it best at the end: Healthy and Happy is all you can really ask for. So glad that’s the result thus far. Hugs and best wishes

  4. aimee fauci says

    August 13, 2014 at 10:57 pm

    You can have a ‘birth plan’… but in reality… the baby is the only one that knows the plan ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m sorry it sounded like a very rough experience. I’ve had 3 kids.. all c sections… I did not have a birth plan for my first kid, but my dr did and like I said … the only ones whose plans held up were the babies. She knew how she was coming out.

  5. Kelly @ IdealistMom.com says

    August 15, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    First, congratulations on your beautiful little guy!

    That must have been such a hard experience – so far from your hopes and expectations. I was in the same boat as you wanting a natural birth. I stalled out, agreed to an epidural. Stalled again, agreed to Pitocin. They tried the vacuum. No go. C-section for me too.

    It sounds like you already have a great perspective on everything that happened, which is amazing!

    Enjoy snuggling with that little guy. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Alice Chase says

    August 16, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    Happy & Healthy is the goal. Somehow once that baby is in your arms everything else pales in comparison.

  7. May says

    August 23, 2014 at 2:16 am

    Congrats! Beautiful. With baby number 1 I didn’t have a plan other than I would go with the flow. I didn’t rule anything out or in and it all worked out.
    Baby number 2 – was a whole other kettle of fish and I could probably write a book about it but the important thing is everyone is happy and healthy. They say people plan and God laughs!

  8. Talitha Haynes says

    August 23, 2014 at 5:34 am

    I used to work at a birth center and the birth plans almost alway went right out the window. You plan one and the baby plans another. He happy and healthy and that’s all that matters. Visiting from SITS.

  9. Tricia says

    August 23, 2014 at 7:24 am

    Oh my goodness. First – congratulations!! No matter how he got here, he is here and that is what matters. I’m glad that things seemed to have sorted themselves out and that everything feels good again. Second – childbirth is so hard – the one thing we can prepare for but not plan for. But even if our preparations don’t come to fruition, it doesn’t mean all is lost. It’s good that we prepare regardless.

  10. Michelle says

    August 23, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Because my 2nd baby was so big (12lb 2.5oz) I had to have a C-section.
    However, my Dr. kept saying I would have him naturally.
    I could see the monitor go crazy with each contraction, that I wasn’t feeling.
    Then they administered pitocin, which made the contractions go crazy.
    However, I still didn’t feel anything.
    My husband and I got to the hospital 8a.m. and baby #2 was delivered C-Section at 6:05p.m.
    I was awake while they performed the C-Section and the first thing I noticed was his big head.
    Before we could go home my friend had to go exchange a 6 month outfit for an 18 month outfit.
    That baby is now a grown man weighing 300 lbs and standing 6’5″

  11. Heather @ Life of a Traveling Navy Wife says

    August 23, 2014 at 11:06 am

    I read your post the other day and saw it again this morning on the SITS link-up. I’m not a biological mother, so I hesitated to comment. BUT ๐Ÿ˜‰ I want congratulate you on the birth of your beautiful new baby boy. The most important thing is your health and his health. I am glad you are both okay. Many years of happiness and healthiness to you and your family. Heather, Life of a Traveling Navy Wife

  12. Jennifer says

    August 23, 2014 at 11:34 am

    Only a small percentage of us have the birth we envision, but we all want a healthy baby and MOST of us get that. Congratulations on a healthy baby and successful breastfeeding. My birth went pretty much as planned even though I was 11 days early and had a harder time with the pain. I wanted to breastfeed too, but even after the lactation consultant assisted us (and said there was nothing wrong), it didn’t work out. My baby had a bigger appetite than my body could sustain. Thanks for sharing your birth story! (Stopping by from SITS Girls Sharefest)

  13. Serena @ Simple Holistic Girl says

    August 23, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    My children’s births weren’t anything like I planned either. All 3 were C-sections and my first one ended up in the NICU because he swallowed amniotic fluid. I had to visit him there and try to breastfeed, which was not easy. In the end you’re glad they’re at least healthy and happy.

  14. Bev says

    August 24, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    It’s hard when things don’t go as you had hoped, but it sounds like you did everything that you could have done! Unfortunately I have met a few moms who had unplanned c-sections and were not thrilled about it because it is not what they had envisioned, and I am sure that it will take some time to get used to that. As much as you prep for it, you only have so much control over what your body does, and it is certainly not a reflection on your or your abilities as a mom. Thanks for sharing your story, stopping by from Sharefest!

  15. Lana says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    What a rough birth, but such a beautiful child!

  16. Jess says

    September 10, 2014 at 5:54 am

    He’s a beauty! Birth plans seem to be tricky. I do think it’s all up to babies… they seem to have a master plan one way or another about how they are going to debut into this world. Happy and healthy is all that it takes though!

  17. Ashley says

    September 10, 2014 at 9:43 am

    So happy that everything worked out, even in a way that you weren’t expecting! Sounds like everything worked out, even if it wasn’t ideal. Happy and healthy is definitely the end goal ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Hannah says

    September 10, 2014 at 10:44 am

    Mine didn’t go to plan. I was mentally all ready to attempt a natural delivery but it didn’t go that simply. Turns out there isn’t prove that breech births are hereditary but my Mum was breech and I was premature. The midwife hadn’t thought anything of it but then at the end of my pregnancy it all changed. Rather than me write it all out here you can read the story here: http://hannahsays.co.uk/2014/07/16/jaxons-birth-story-dear-blueberry-week-1/

  19. Gina says

    September 11, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    Thank you got sharing! I love birth stories. Mine never went as I’d planned but are what I consider my badge of honor or my special story to share:)

  20. Laura says

    September 12, 2014 at 11:59 am

    as disappointing as it may be, at least he’s here and healthy! Babies never follow plans anyways!

  21. Uplifting Families says

    March 5, 2015 at 9:57 am

    My third pregnancy was the same way. I was looking forward to going through labor without an epidural or pitocin. Well my baby decided between my appt on Friday at 39w3d and Tuesday at 40w that he would turn breech. I had an ultrasound to make sure that my baby’s fluid was at good levels since my previous pregnancy my fluid was low at this point. When she was scanning my belly, I noticed the baby’s head in my ribs. I knew immediately that I would have to have a c-section. I was devastated. I felt jipped that I didn’t get the birth that I wanted but in the end my baby arrived safe and sound. The c-section went well but recovery sucked. I ended up shaking so bad for several hours that I felt like I couldn’t hold my baby without dropping him. I was able to nurse him about an hour after he was born.

Trackbacks

  1. Losing the Baby Weight: Mommy Workout Gear - Life Anchored says:
    September 1, 2014 at 4:00 am

    […] a lot of swelling starting in my 3rd trimester, this was a complication we had to deal with during delivery.ย  I had a healthy weight gain up to that point, by the time I went in for delivery I had gained […]

  2. 40 Weeks: Documenting Each Week of Pregnancy - Life Anchored says:
    November 19, 2014 at 6:19 am

    […] go through the same ups and downs emotionally that I felt. To experience the joys and even the disappointment when things didn’t go as […]

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