Mommy Wars are a big thing these days. They seem to be popping up on more and more topics. Breastfeeding vs. Formula, Circumcision vs. Uncircumcised, Vaccinations vs. Anti-Vaxers and I’m sure I could go on and on. I have opinions on all of these things, I could share them with you but the only person I can assure they are right for it me. Every mom has to face decision-making on a daily basis with their littles and they can only do what is right for their family.
The Mister and I are both RNs, if you didn’t know that tidbit about us. We have chosen to educate ourselves, chose a Pediatrician we trust and agree with and go from there. This post is about my own personal Mommy War, the mommy war I have with just myself. We have had some issues with breastfeeding, Baby D struggled with latching, we used a nursing shield and pumping. It wasn’t easy but after we came home from the hospital we exclusively used breast milk. At one point we had almost 150 ounces of frozen milk stocked up. I felt like we would never use that milk. Then Baby D got bigger and you know what bigger babies do? They eat more! Over about a months time we went through all of the frozen milk stash, I wasn’t able to an equal amount to replenish the stash. Fast forward to this weekend. I’ve had some anxiety and stress about this, you know my own mommy war. We are going to have to use some formula…
We’ll see how it goes, I hope that Baby D likes it. I won the mommy war, I can to understand that what has to be done to win is whatever is best for your baby. We are using as much breast milk as possible and Baby D has gotten to have 4 months of exclusive nursing. This is what we need to do for him now as he grows. Other moms may use formula exclusively, it may or may not been their first chose, but for reasons that are their own they are doing what they feel is best for their little.
Now, I’m fighting the whole way, I’ve been doing everything I know to increase my milk production. Taking Fenugreek supplement, chugging water like a crazy person (I love my Eddy Camelbak Water bottle with custom monogram sticker). pumping after every nursing session and while I’m at work, and eating one of these yummy lactation cookies from Milkin Cookies everyday. No sure if it is working yet, but I will keep you up to date!
Did you have any personal mommy wars? How did you power through them?
Monica says
I had the same issue with both of my girls. A friend however could have nursed a daycare. I had serious milk envy. We did what we had to do and supplemented. They both thrived. Slept better and better weight gain. I had mommy failure issues! However, I did my best and what was best for my babies. Everyone is different. Also my work place was not pumping friendly. Sometimes I was pumping in the car on the way home. Try explaining that if stopped!
Julie S. says
I’m gonna have my baby in a few weeks and I plan on trying all the things you listed to make sure I can have enough supply, at least while I’m home on maternity leave. I’d love to be able to keep it up after I return to work as well. Hope all of these work for you!
Shelby says
I don’t have children but I expect this is more common than we think! Good luck and I hope Baby D likes the supplement!
Erica says
Keep us up to date. I know with my last I had to eat so much to keep everything going. and I was not one of the lucky ones to loss weight from BFing but it sure did come off when I stopped.
Jena says
I BF my little one til 6 months and in the end struggled with producing enough as I went back to work. It was hard, and ultimately formula won, but if they get one feeding of BM its better than none!
Ashley says
I don’t have kids yet so I can’t speak to any personal wars, but it makes me SO sad to see mothers tearing each other apart over such personal things. If it works for you, great. Keep doing it. But don’t push your beliefs on anyone else.
Laura says
That’s interesting. I’m not a mom, so this isn’t anything I’ve ever thought out, but I guess that makes sense that you can control your milk production.
Aisha says
I don’t have kids… but my sister could never breast feed and it was really hard for her. It’s not a war you have to win because luckily, there are alternatives!
Lana says
I hate the mommy wars. Can’t moms just all support each other?
Denielle says
Totally understand the anxiety of working through the freezer stash – my son was dx failure to thrive & I was pressured to just give formula. Instead, I started adding pumping sessions before bed & early morning to increase supply (and took Fenugreek) for his overnight NG feeds. It was only a short amount of time but I was able to get my body to produce 14oz extra a day, plus enough for the twins.
Something to keep in mind, and I’m sure you already know this, is that Baby D’s volume of breastmilk shouldn’t really increase too much, since your milk changes composition for them.
You’re doing great and best wishes!!
Briana says
I had a supply issue with my first, and the folks at Special Addition really helped me out. I’m sure you’ve already been there, but if you haven’t, or haven’t heard of it, you should go in and ask about More Milk Plus. It’s a supplement with fenugreek, blessed thistle, and a couple of other galactogogues that can really help with production. It’s not terribly pricey, either, considering, and worked really well for me. Just an idea! Whatever happens, though, four months of EBF is fantastic, and something you should be really proud of! Congrats, mama!
Tiffany (The Boob Geek) says
I’ve given all four of my mostly breastfed babies formula at some point or another, but mostly turned to milk from friends when my pumped milk ran low. (I’ve had very normal, exactly-what-is-needed output, which has meant that when I had to work later than planned or milk was left at work accidentally, I didn’t have anything else to fall back on.)
Of course, I don’t know the whole story because blog posts are just a little snapshot, but some things to keep in mind, if you’re interested in further troubleshooting are:
Breastfed babies take in about the same amount of milk between one and six months of age, and then their intake decreases as they eat more solids. That amount is roughly 28 ounces per day, and it can be translated to 1 to 1.5 ounces per hour. (A really good blog post about this is http://nurshable.com/2011/12/29/the-one-ounce-per-hour-rule-of-bottle-feeding/.)
The best way to make more milk is to remove more milk, and galactogogues and other efforts to increase milk supply won’t help if the underlying problem is not addressed. The “underlying problem” for a lot of pumping moms is either not pumping enough or having expectations that don’t fit with the reality of pumping and having a baby getting expressed milk. It’s very, very common to feel like your milk supply is low when it’s actually that either you’re just not getting as much out of your breasts when pumping as you could, you’re trying to pump more milk than you really need, or a combination of both.
I wrote a blog post recently that covers some of this that you might find helpful, whether or not your baby is at a daycare that uses the USDA food program: http://theboobgeek.com/blog/cant-pump-enough-milk-maybe-its-the-usdas-fault.html
I offer this totally unsolicited advice realizing that it’s totally unsolicited and possibly not helpful to you, and not because I want you to avoid formula (because unless it’s a big deal to you, it’s not a big deal) but because I’d hate to see you blame yourself or your milk supply for not being “enough” when there could be something else to try.
Debbie Howard says
As a mommy and now a gigi who has done it both ways on the breastfeeding issue…don’t sweat it so much. I was at the beginning of the get back to breastfeeding movement when it wasn’t encouraged. I breastfed all my children for a short time but 2 of them had to go onto formula for various reasons. The middle child stayed on the breast until she switched to the cup. We all do the best we can and in the end all 3 of my children came out healthy and they are all adult healthy eaters. Do your best and don’t worry about the other. Cheering you on whatever way it goes!
lifeanchored says
You are so right! That was what I had to realize. I was doing the best I could for my little guy. He still nurses all week when we are together, 1 or 2 bottles of formula on the weekends isn’t going to be the end of the world or hurt him. Thank you for the encouragement.
Gina says
Ugh! I feel for you!